Do Not Meditate, Be!

The 20^th century Indian sage Sri Ramana Maharshi was a great spiritual teacher and a man of few words. He taught vichara or Self-inquiry as the most direct path to realizing the truth of one’s nature.  The Marharshi instructed:

Do not meditate – be!
Do not think that you are – be!

Don’t think about being – you are!

Let’s explore this teaching by first looking at who the intended audience was. Ramana was sought out by sincere seekers. Those that through frustration, exhaustion, intuition or Grace had come to the conclusion that lasting peace and happiness was not to be found in any combination of status, riches, relationships or objects of the world.  These seekers had turned their attention around and begun the inner journey. And many had explored a wide variety of teachers, philosophies, religions and practices.

So when Ramana said, “Do not meditate – Be!”, he was not judging meditation as being useless. Meditation and many other practices such as asanas, chanting, praying, acts of service, contemplation and gratitude journaling can and do help millions to temporarily calm their minds and experience more peace, love and presence.  Rather Ramana was cautioning his more advanced students not to allow a practice to become a religion. Not to let the thoughts that keep alive the most subtle mental sense of self to take charge of any process of becoming better or enlightened. In other words do not get addicted to any ego-led practice, where one could become more masterful, holy, spiritual or otherwise worthy. Such activity would simply strengthen that which you seek to be free from.

This directive is echoed in the second line, “Do not think that you are – be!”  The thoughts that comprise our mind can never figure out, experience, or “know” the Self.  The Self is the only one that ever “knows” anything. The mind can only work with objects, and as the Self has no dimensions or physical properties, its discovery lies beyond the capability of mind. In fact, it is often said that the only way the mind can know the Self, is the same way a moth can know the flame - by dying into it.

The last line in our quote admonishes students to forget about leaving the mind in charge of “being” for the same reasons mentioned above.  It is only when you take your attention off the thoughts, perceptions and sensations that comprise our mental experience of the world, and what we believe ourselves to be, that we can we put it on the very experience of being.

What we seek is not far away. You cannot take one step in any direction and be closer to it than you are at this moment.  As the Marharsi says, just be.

You can coach with Steve at www.acoach4u.com or find him at Google +

It Is The Same Self In All

American mythologist and teacher Joseph Campbell, who studied the spiritual teachings of the world for over 40 years, once observed that the best direction he had found comes out of India.

One of the classic Indian works is the centuries old Avadhut Gita, written by the sage Dattatreya.

An Avadhut is a mystic who has moved past the dictates and conditioning of the human mind and discovered the truth who’s fragrance is wisdom, peace and bliss. Gita simply means “song of. ” In this classic poem/teaching there is one stanza that I believe summarizes a great spiritual truth. It goes:

A yogi has no particular path;

He simply renounces imagining things,
His mind then ceases of its own accord,
And the perfect state just naturally occurs.

When Dattartreya refers to a yogi, he is not talking about someone in expensive spandex who can wrap their leg around their head. Rather he is talking about one who is called by Grace to find the truth of existence.

In speaking of renouncing imagining things he talks of the voluntary removal of attention, belief and identity from all changing things such as; thoughts, emotions, sensations, the circumstances of everyday life, etc.

Whenever attention is turned inward, away from external objects and towards its source, the volume and machinations of the mind subside into the background.

With nothing needing to be resisted, acquired or changed in any way, peace and contentment flourish. Without separation, between in and out, here and there, you and me, all differences dissolve into love.

The yogi directly realizes, at our essence, we are fundamental, unchanging, blissful, impersonal, all pervading awareness. It is the same Self in all.

(Steve is a Master Certified Life and Business Coach. Connect with Steve at Life and Business Coach )

 

The Value Of Contemplation

For those seriously seeking to cultivate more mindfulness, peace, or presence in their life, I have always found great wisdom from contemplatives of all traditions. Recently, while leafing through an old edition by Trappist Monk Thomas Merton, I stumbled onto this quote.

“Man was made for the highest activity, which is, in fact, his rest. That activity, which is contemplation, is immanent and it transcends the level of sense and of discourse. Man’s guilty sense of his incapacity for this one deep activity, which is the reason for his existence, is precisely what drives him to seek oblivion in exterior motion and desire. Incapable of the divine activity which alone can satisfy his soul, fallen man flings himself upon exterior things, not so much for their own sake as for the sake of the agitation which keeps his spirit pleasantly numb. He has but to remain busy with trifles; his preoccupation will serve as a dope. It will not deaden all the pain of thinking; but it will at least do something to blur his sense of who he is and of his utter insufficiency. 

Pascal sums up his observations with the remark: “Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries and yet it is, itself, the greatest of our miseries.” ”

Merton points us to the paradox that while we strive so hard to secure peace, happiness, and success “out there” in some activity or accomplishment, it can only truly be found in the reflective inactivity we try to avoid at all cost.

Any contemplation slows down the mind and nourishes the soul. It is all good.

However, contemplation of Self is the highest of practices.  When you seek to know that which knows, you might avail yourself to the greatest of discoveries.

Visit Steve at Life And Business Coach
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THE MIND AS AN OCEAN

I am grateful to have spent every summer of my life at the side of an ocean. I love the space, the smells, the sounds, the ever changing vista. And I notice how much the surface of the ocean is like the surface of my mind.

Most summer mornings the surface of the ocean is calm. As the sun heats the land, wind begins to stir the top of the ocean.  As the wind builds, so do the waves. By the middle of most afternoons, the riot of wind and waves reach their crescendo, and then begin to fade. By sunset, the surface of the ocean is calm again. Only the fading undulations of the day’s waves remain.  

The surface of my mind is much like the surface of the ocean. Each day I wake to the simple calm awareness that I am alive. Then, quickly, the day’s thoughts, commitments, wants, resistances and all other forms of agitations stir the mind. Certain thoughts generate an emotional reaction. The emotions reinforce the importance of the thought, which give rise to additional thoughts which stir additional emotions.  This all seems to happen without any conscious encouragement, and so half way through some days the surface of my mind can resemble the most windblown seascape.

The question that saves me from drowning in the daily torrent is simple. “Am I defined by what is going on automatically at the surface of my mind?” This question reminds me that if I am observing the constant stream of passing thoughts and emotions, then they cannot be me. Something deeper, an aware essence, is observing all events. That part of me is unchanging, always simply present and aware that what is happening in the heavily conditions circuits of my mind cannot define me any more than the ocean can be defined by the fleeting currents on the surface.

In its depths, the ocean is unchangingly calm.  I very happy to be reminded that I am too.

Contact Steve through his Life and Business Coach website.

Learning To Trust Life

Albert Einstein once said, “The most important decision you'll ever make is choosing whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

Every life has its share of pain and tragedy, and so it is very easy to become afraid, close the heart, and live constantly on guard.  The mind takes over and life becomes an anxious game of strategy as we try to control what is essentially uncontrollable.  No matter how hard we work, no matter how much power and control we accumulate, no one can insulate themselves or their loved ones from life’s continuously changing circumstances.

What Einstein knew, and what all the spiritual masters teach, is the wisdom in embracing life, all of it.

In saying yes to whatever happens in life, even the stuff we see as negative, we stop resisting and fantasizing about how we would like things to be.  We stop shunting our precious energy into futile imaginings of how life should be, which gives us much more energy to work with and create from whatever is.

 In learning to embrace whatever shows up in life, we can begin to drop our defenses, open our heart, and come back more fully to the present moment, which is only place where all our choice, creativity, love, happiness and peace reside.

After all, life has given us so much, is it really fair to distrust it so much?

Visit Steve at Life and Business Coach

Mindfulness: The Cure For The Optional Suffering Of Life

It is a common expectation amongst those engaged in any form of mindfulness practice; meditation, contemplation, prayer, asanas, mantras, etc., that with practice they will achieve a permanent “zen like” state, and from that point on experience nothing but bliss.

Forget about this idea. It is not true and there is precious little evidence that any saint, sage, messiah or yogi has ever achieved such a enduring state.

If you are breathing, you are human. Part of being human is experiencing pain, real physical, emotional and spiritual pain.

However where a good mindfulness practice can make a huge difference, is in limiting the amount of optional suffering we needlessly add to the mandatory pain of life.

It is the nature of the human mind to want to resist and control change. Yet change is the one constant in life. Sometimes change brings pain.  A good mindfulness practice can provide many opportunities and teachings to better accept and learn from the pain of life.

Mindfulness practices also provide many powerful tools to help you limit the amount of optional suffering the human mind will tend to add to any of life’s painful moments. Simply, do not expect the mind to stop resisting change.  Do not expect the mind to cease its compulsion to obsess over any perceived thread. That’s its thing. That’s what it does. Your power is found, and peace is restored, by remembering you can always choose what to put your attention on. 

When the pain of life comes, and the mind responds by going wild with excessive anticipation, planning, contingencies, judgements, resistance, remorse, etc. – simply choose, over and over again, not to feed this suffering with attention, identity or belief.

Put your attention on your: breath, body, prayer, asana, nature, etc, really anything that is here, now. And should you find your attention drifting back to the suffering, simply do not buy the inevitable thought, “you can’t do this”, “this doesn’t work for me”, etc.

Rather, take your attention off that thought too, again and again. It all gets easier with practice.

Coach Steve

The Tyranny Of Doing

Have you ever tried to take a little time out from one of your typical busy days, and sit quietly, doing nothing?

I am not talking about when you collapse on the sofa at the end of the day exhausted. Nor when you stop working on one particular job only to shift your attention to the next thing that needs to be done, or even to your favorite hobby. Rather, I am asking you if you have ever paid attention to the internal dialogue that happens, when you simply attempt to refrain from doing anything. 

I attempt this regularly and am always amazed at how much conditioning I have to move on to the next task, accomplish something else, or generally keep moving and productive. My mind is quite unsettled at the prospect of doing nothing, and puts up a very good fight.  There is no end of ideas that come to mind regarding what I might do next, what I might want more of, what I might not want to happen later, etc.  And if I manage to ignore all those thoughts auditioning for attention, there can come some judgement thoughts about being lazy, or even some anxiety feeling that I might be somehow wasting my time or falling behind the rest of the world.  

The point is, we are highly conditioned organisms. At an early age we are taught the importance of delaying gratification. We dutifully learn how to focus on the task at hand, study hard, compete, accomplish, produce, acquire, achieve, etc.  Our sense of self and social status is often deeply defined by what we do, and we take pride in how much we can accomplish in any particular, day, month, or year.  After a few decades of practice we become world champion doers. Doing is us.  And along the way, we forget how to be.

Can you even remember a few moments where you enjoyed the complete simplicity and wonder of your childhood, before “doing” became a religion? Playing with your favorite toy? Splashing in the bathtub? Enjoying an ice-cream cone? Staring at the clouds or stars?

You are not a human doing. You are in fact a human being.  Being is not something you want to dip a toe into occasionally, when time permits.  It is the ocean you want to dive into. Indeed it is where you want to live from.  It is who you are.

Forget this and life turns into an endless treadmill of unsatisfying accomplishment.

Remember this, and you can reconnect with the source of all vitality, and you can still function as necessary in the world of doing. 

Connect with Coach Steve

Choosing Not To Mind The Mind

It is hard to pinpoint the moment that I began to seriously explore mindfulness. It was a couple of decades ago when I had a busy career and a young family. I began to notice that it was getting noisy inside my head. I began to notice that it was hard to turn off the cascade of thoughts at the end of the day. I noticed that even though some of the things I was thinking/planning/worrying about had a very low probability of actually occurring, it didn’t seem to impact the seemingly endless desire of my mind to chew away at them.

Sometimes I would notice I was thinking about work problems, while doing a household task, and silently reciting a song in my head, all at the same time. It was just getting all together too busy in there.

I first turned towards the world’s great religious traditions to seek the peace and compassion of the saints. I learned much, frequently became inspired, and yet it did little to quiet my mind.

I studied myth. Again, learned much, got a sense of the recurring themes in the life journey, but my mind was still noisy.

I started learning about meditation. It took a while to really understand how simple it was, and that it was not about achieving some amazing, transcending experience – even though I experienced a few remarkable states.  And whenever I meditated, it certainly quieted things down for a bit. A 10 out of 10 stress day would be reduced to 7 out of 10.  A 5 out of 10 stress day would be reduced to a 3.  But as soon as I stopped meditating the noise in my mind would begin to pick up again.

I got intrigued with yoga, thinking that maybe a movement centered practice would be a better fit for someone like me who did not really enjoy sitting still for too long.   This led to a pretty deep dive into yogic philosophy (some of the most comprehensive to be found), years of practice, study with many prominent teachers, and eventually a teacher training course and certification as a Registered Yoga Teacher. Yoga helped my flexibility and strength and taught me a great deal about the link between the body and the mind. However, it certainly did not deal a knockout blow to the noise in my head. When I do yoga I am centered with a quiet focused mind. When I stop, the mind slowly starts up again.

It was only when I almost gave up the search in frustration, and actually prayed to find the right teacher, path or practice, to get me to that more sustainably peaceful place that some deep part of me intuited existed, did I finally connect with the teaching I had been looking for.

How ridiculous. It turned out the part of me that was so intent on solving this problem, was the part of me that had no chance of succeeding. That part of me, the thinking, planning, getting-better-at-it mind, was indeed the main barrier to the deeper peace I was looking for.   And all I had to do is stop identify with it.  That’s it. (It may sound too simple. I know I would not have been satisfied with this answer if it was handed to me before I had exhausted myself seeking some way to figure it out.)

My mind is still here. It is part of my experience. It does useful things.  It also continues to do what human minds are wired to do; judge, resist, desire, fantasize, and generally want things to be different. 

The difference is I no longer plant my flag of identity solely with my thoughts or emotions. I watch them come and go, and every hour there is a new monologue.  I just keep taking my attention off them, and putting it on my breath, whatever else is present, or the source of attention itself. Starved of attention and belief, the mind usually quiets down. And sometimes it doesn’t.

It doesn’t matter, I simply choose to no longer mind the mind.  

Where to Shine The Flashlight of Attention?

Our human mind is powerful and wild. It is capable of helping us create the most elegant solutions to life’s most challenging problems, and also prone to wasting exorbitant amounts of time and energy; judging, comparing, resisting, desiring, fantasizing or otherwise driving you crazy.

It is a gift to even notice the mind’s wildness.

It is a gift to be called to explore and attempt to reign in some of the mind’s most outrageous flights of fancy.

It is a gift to notice that in any mind event, there is the mind and there is some part of your awareness witnessing it.

It is a gift to notice that while you may not be able to choose the thoughts, emotions or moods of the mind, you can at any time direct your attention where you want.

It is perhaps one of the most powerful teachings to coach your attention to rest with affection on your heart. Not your physical heart. Not your emotional center or simply the source of all emotion. Rather let you attention rest on the source of everything.

In other words, if your attention was like a flashlight, capable of shining on anything you are interested in, rather than letting it point outward towards, the endless stream of objects (thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.)  Turn it inward, on the source of attention, and hold it there.

What do you notice?

A Great Spiritual Teaching From India

Joseph Campbell, who studied the myths and spiritual teachings of the world for over 40 years, once observed that the best direction he had found comes out of India.

One of the classic Indian works is the centuries old Avadhut Gita, written by the sage Dattatreya.

An Avadhut is a mystic who has found the knowledge who’s fragrance is wisdom, peace and bliss. Gita simply means “song of. ”  In this classic poem/teaching there is one stanza that I believe summarizes a great spiritual truth. It goes:

A yogi has no particular path;

He simply renounces imagining things,
His mind then ceases of its own accord,
And the perfect state just naturally occurs.

When Dattartreya refers to a yogi, he is not talking about someone in Lululemon gear who can wrap their leg around their head. Rather he is talking about someone who is called by Grace to find the truth of existence.

In speaking of renouncing imagining things, he talks of the voluntary removal of attention, belief and identity from all objects; things, thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.

Whenever attention in turned inward, away from objects and towards its source, the volume and machinations of the mind subside into the background.

With nothing needing to be resisted, acquired or changed in any way, peace and contentment flourish. Without separation, between in and out, here and there, you and me, all differences dissolve into love.

The Avadhut directly realizes, at our essence, we are fundamental, unchanging, blissful, impersonal, all pervading, awareness. It is the same Self in all.

Steve

If At First.....

Making important changes in your life, career or business is not easy. Overcoming years of conditioning in your thoughts, emotions and behaviour requires time and a good deal of effort. It often requires more than one attempt.

Many change initiatives are abandoned at the first sign of back-sliding.  However big change is almost always harder than you expect it to be. There are many setbacks, many lessons on what doesn't work, and many times when you have to endure a good failure or two to learn the necessary lessons you require to finally push through to success. 

The more you prepare for a change, the more emotions you involve, the more support you line up to keep you on track or remind you why you are doing this - the greater your chances of success will be.

Some people believe it is better to try and fail, than it is to never try at all.  However, there is enough good science, best practices and professional support available, to potential changers these days, that if you are committed you can make the change. And if you are serious about making some important changes, don't let a few steps backwards deter you.

The Irony In Seeking

To anyone who has a calling to find; truth, a deeper connection to life/God/love, their true self, The Self, or any of the many euphemisms for the fruits of inner journey, this calling manifests into seeking.  There is a deep sense that the truth is out there somewhere, and if you only access the right; teacher, training, mentor, knowledge, practice, etc., and put in your time, enlightenment will be yours.

The irony in seeking is that this part of us that is seeking, is the biggest barrier to the greater experience of; peace, love, bliss, harmony, connection, etc. that we intuit is possible.

The truth is, in this journey, ever step you take is a step away from where the answer is found. Ultimately, it is just an idea you have about yourself, that believes an idea about what needs to be; different, acquired, or accomplished, to obtain some imagined better state.  If you let go of all the ideas and imagining, what do you experience now?

As the poet Rumi explained, "Your task is not to seek for love, your task is to seek and find all the barriers you have built against it."   

Don't Bother Trying To Be Stabile

Many individuals looking for greater peace and happiness in their busy lives run into their share of obstacles.

One of the most common is the belief that once you have become aware that more balance is possible, you should somehow become stabilized in this new, improved place and be unaffected by life’s daily dramas.

Perhaps you have established a few simple, daily routines; exercise, quiet times, breath work, meditation, gratitude journaling, etc.   And while the benefits of any of these activities may be subtle, you can immediately feel the difference.

Typically, any of these sorts of practices make a good day great, an average day better, and a bad day more tolerable.  But they do not make you bullet proof.  There will always be certain circumstances or people that will get your goat and catapult you back into reactions that you may have hoped you had left behind forever.

Don’t despair. You are not hopeless. You are just human.

It is an unreal expectation to imagine that your best intentions and practice will somehow stabilize you in some perma-zen state that will leave behind all your old conditioning. (Even Jesus, the Buddha and all the Sages and Saints had their bad days too.)

Forget about trying to stabilize yourself in some perfect state.  Forget about judging yourself as being a master at this or completely hopeless. Your job is to simply remember you are that which is observing the coming and going of all states, thoughts and emotions.

The Mind As an Obstacle to Peace

In my life and business coaching practice, I run into a lot of people looking for more success and happiness in one form or another. Occasionally, some of these clients have concluded that their greater fulfillment is not going to be found in usual playgrounds of additional accomplishment in their; career, relationships, hobbies, fitness, fame, or their bank account.

And anyone who has ever had a deeper calling, who has genuinely longed to find what it true and lasting in life, has inevitably run into a few predictable roadblocks associated with  the limitations of the human mind.  Because changing, reasoning with, convincing, pacifying  or sustainably satisfying the mind can seem like an impossible job.

Fortunately, there are many solutions offered.  Various spiritual traditions attempt to solve this problem by offering the a seeker a particular set of long-established, widely-held beliefs, coupled with the invocation that it is a virtue to have faith and not to question.  This works for billions of people, and yet causes others to flee.

Other spiritual traditions teach elaborate practices to still the mind. This approach can keep many people busy for years. Yet, whatever stillness is momentarily achieved, quickly evaporates and sends the seeker back to do yet more practice.

If you are lucky, and ready, you may run into a teacher that can help you realize that any attempts by the mind, to manage the mind, will at best provide limited and temporary benefit.  Ultimately, the conquest of thought is the simply, direct, recognition that you are not your thoughts.  A thought may seem very close, intimate and personal, yet you begin to notice the real, unchanging you, is what is witnessing thought.

I am pretty sure I read this type of instruction a few hundred times from a variety of sources before I was ready to actually personally explore it.  And finding the appropriate guide is a matter of timing and grace. However, once it is directly verified that you are more than your mind, you will come to see that mind is really not your enemy. It is simply one of the many ways the energy of life expresses itself.  All thoughts and emotions, and all life circumstances do in fact come and go. And there is an unchanging part of you that really does witness it all without affect.  Further, this part of you needs nothing, resists nothing and thus is always quite content.

So, ironically, it is only when the mind stops seeking its own improvement or dissolution, that it is truly at peace.   And it is only when you stop identifying with or trying to control the mind, that you can simply ignore it out of relevance.

It is there. It is useful. But it is not who you are. It is just part of what you experience.  

Proceed With Joy

When I was a child and worrying about something, my mother would often ask, “Aren’t you taking yourself too seriously.”

At the time I simply took this as a reminder that the current problem will probably pass, just like all that preceded it, and that I should not worry too much.

Years later, and after working with over 1100 clients in my coaching practice, I am beginning have a deeper appreciation of this inquiry.

In fact I have come to believe that whenever you are not at peace, not experiencing simple, everyday joy, you are probably taking yourself too seriously. By this I mean, there is probably a part of you that has judged this current set of circumstances to be unfavourable. And so the thinking mind has left the moment and is out in the imagined future somewhere working out plans to overcome all threats. Or, alternatively, the mind has left the present moment and is looking backwards to re-hash, re-play, or otherwise dwell on some event that it is judging as significant.

So here is a suggestion, if you are not at this very moment feeling peaceful and happy, simply ask yourself what do I need to let go of to be at peace?

Yes there are times in our day to day life to evaluate, choose and move into action. But it is not personal. If you have too much stress in your life, or too little joy, chances are you are taking things a little too personal. It’s just life. It happens. Trust you will be able to respond as necessary.  

In the meantime, proceed with joy.       

At The End of Each Day

I talk a lot about choice with my coaching clients. Many are so busy that they simply live out of habit. Each day thinking, feeling, and reacting to their life in the exact same way, making few conscious choices.

This sort of living wears them out and makes them feel unengaged, burnt-out, as if they are not living the life they are meant to live.

The journey to higher awareness involves moving just far enough away from automatic living to make choices, choices that align you with what is most important. (Those parts of life you value most, that engage you, express your unique gifts, and provide meaning to your life.)

At the end of each day you can end up with more in your head, more in your hands, or more in your heart.  What are you choosing today?

Challenge For Today

Just for today, why don’t you conduct the following experiment; do not mind how you feel.

By all means feel what you feel. Just don’t give importance or preference to any particular feeling.

Simply let every feeling appear, do its dance, and move on without choosing to identify with any one of them.

Do not mind how you feel. Simply refuse to label yourself as happy, sad, anxious, excited, etc.

Experiment with this. Let me know what you discover.

Life and Business Coach Steve Mitten

Observing Your Thoughts

Have you ever taken the time to truly observe your thoughts?

You have thousands a day. Many are trivial. Many are ridicules. Some are emotionally charged and can hijack your attention for hours. A few may be sublime.

Have you ever gone through the exercise of simply choosing not to engage or entertain any of the thoughts that are auditioning for your attention?  If not, I encourage you to try it sometime.  Simply sit down in some quiet place and remove your attention from any thought that presents itself to your awareness.

Some thoughts will be easy to ignore. Others will keep coming back.  However if you keep letting them go, keep shifting your attention to anything else  - your breath, an inner feeling of affection, simply experiencing the nuances of a current sense perception; sight, sound, feeling, etc. – what do you notice?  After even 10 minutes of such an exercise, what do you feel?

As Pascal once said, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” 

If you spend even 10 minutes a day with the intention of thinking less, and experiencing more, it can bring great gifts into your life.  (I have seen this very experiment create a lot of value to hundreds of life and business coaching clients over the years.)  Gradually you can begin to use the mind for practical issues, but not refer to it constantly for a sense of identity.

Coaching And Enlightenment.

Recently someone asked if I thought that coaching could help a client achieve enlightenment.

The short answer is no.

In my experience, a genuine seeker with a longing for “Enlightenment”  (such an overused word) is not going to get what they want through conventional coaching.   They might become more spiritually aware. They might become more aligned with their higher values. They may benefit in a dozen other valuable ways.  But true awakening involves the actual falling away of the part of us that is seeking to get better, or attain some object called “enlightenment”. 

This is not something that you can even speak of effectively, because any concepts simply create more fuel for the part of us that is trying to figure it all out.

In my opinion, 999 out of 1000 people called to this sort of inquiry need to find a teacher and a path that resonates with them.   The right teacher will meet them wherever they are, in their journey to higher awareness, and help them eventually recognize that it is only when the mind stops seeking, that it is one with what is.

For those of you looking a place to start, I suggest you visit http://www.stillnessspeaks.com/ and watch some of the videos of various established teachers.

Good luck,

Steve.  

If You Were Told To Change or Die, Could you Do It?

Imagine your doctor sits you down and tells you on no uncertain terms, "If you don't change your lifestyle, you will be dead in a year." What do you think the chances are that you would actually manage to eat a little better, exercise more, etc.?

The answer, and this has been well studied, is 1 in 7.* Shockingly, only 1 out of 7 patients that have the "change or die" conversation with their physician, are able to change their behaviour. And the point is, if 6 out of 7 of us have trouble making changes when our life literally depends on it, is it any surprise we struggle to make so many other changes in our lives, careers and businesses?

As we approach the time of the year when many of us reflect upon our living and consider the changes we want to make in the New Year, it is important to remember there are some changes we can make by ourselves but many more we simply cannot. These latter type of "adaptive" changes are those bigger challenges that require a change in mindset and behaviour. These types of changes take time, reinforcement and the power of relationship to help us revise limiting thoughts and assumptions. In short, there are changes that are very difficult for us human beings to do on our own - even when our life depends on it.

So if you are contemplating making some important changes this year, remember that your best intentions and willpower may simply not be enough to guarantee you the results you seek.

Thus, to better increase your odds of success, here are a few tips:

- Make sure that whatever you are trying to do, really does line up with what is truly important to you. (What you genuinely value.) Many changes fail simply because they conflict with a deeply held belief or value.

- Make sure you have a high level of commitment. A good rule of thumb is that you should have a 4 out of 5 level of commitment if you are going to be able to hang in there long enough to see through an important change. Anything less and you could easily be distracted or discouraged when things get tough or busy.

- Anticipate resistance. Anytime we attempt to move out of our comfort zone we run into resistance. Some of these thoughts/feelings/habits can completely sideline us if we are not ready for them. When the resistance shows up, get curious about any assumptions or assertions that undermine your change initiative. Chances are they are based on faulty or out of date information that no longer serves you.

- Design your support team. Big changes can be scary. Call in backup. Make sure you have a few key people you can share your goal with and turn to when things get tough. We really benefit from relationships that can remind us why we are doing something, help us examine our limiting beliefs and help us see where growth is waiting to happen. (We are all blind to some of the biggest changes we really need to make - to get the results we want.)

Good luck with all your goals, dreams and aspirations for the upcoming year. If you can dream it, and it makes your heart sing, if you take care of yourself day to day so you don't get exhausted, if you build on your strengths, if you can take it a step at a time and reach out for help when, or before, you need it, and if you can be open to the journey taking you in a different direction than you initially planned - then I believe you are going to have a fabulous adventure in the New Year.

Good luck,

Life and Business Coach Steve

Tuning Your Instrument

In your life, career or business, you are your biggest asset,
your own instrument of success. You are also your biggest liability. And how you
show up every day, with your colleagues, friends, family or clients, is a huge
factor in determining your overall level of happiness and success.
So tell me, how much attention do you put into tuning your
instrument?

If you were a world-class musician you would never think of
performing without tuning your violin, guitar or what have you. The sour notes
would be noticed immediately and detract from your performance. Thus musicians
always take the time to tune their own instrument and then tune to the orchestra
prior to a performance. How about you?

In your life, career and businesses, I am sure you have had a
few experiences where you felt in tune with yourself, your surroundings, the
task at hand, and things flowed almost effortlessly.

And I am pretty sure there have been many other times when the
sense of struggle was so palpable, you may have felt you were playing off the
wrong sheet music.

If you do nothing to proactively prepare for each day or tune
your instrument, it will not take too much (stress, conflict, unexpected
developments, etc.) to tip you into a far more reactive mode. And feeling a
little off-key or behind the rhythm, you are more likely to appear impatient,
intolerant, unsympathetic, distracted and generally self-focused. This of course
is going to be noticed and have an impact.

Taking the time to tune your instrument, to get more present,
in-sync, will not immunize you from life's challenges. But it will ensure you
meet them with the greater creativity, trust and the resourcefulness needed to
be your best, under any circumstance. And this will also have an impact. (A very
positive one.)