Friday, April 27, 2012

The Irony In Seeking

To anyone who has a calling to find; truth, a deeper connection to life/God/love, their true self, The Self, or any of the many euphemisms for the fruits of inner journey, this calling manifests into seeking.  There is a deep sense that the truth is out there somewhere, and if you only access the right; teacher, training, mentor, knowledge, practice, etc., and put in your time, enlightenment will be yours.

The irony in seeking is that this part of us that is seeking, is the biggest barrier to the greater experience of; peace, love, bliss, harmony, connection, etc. that we intuit is possible.
The truth is, in this journey, ever step you take is a step away from where the answer is found. Ultimately, it is just an idea you have about yourself, that believes an idea about what needs to be; different, acquired, or accomplished, to obtain some imagined better state.  If you let go of all the ideas and imagining, what do you experience now?
As the poet Rumi explained, "Your task is not to seek for love, your task is to seek and find all the barriers you have built against it."   

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Don't Bother Trying To Be Stabile

Many individuals looking for greater peace and happiness in their busy lives run into their share of obstacles.
One of the most common is the belief that once you have become aware that more balance is possible, you should somehow become stabilized in this new, improved place and be unaffected by life’s daily dramas.
Perhaps you have established a few simple, daily routines; exercise, quiet times, breath work, meditation, gratitude journaling, etc.   And while the benefits of any of these activities may be subtle, you can immediately feel the difference.
Typically, any of these sorts of practices make a good day great, an average day better, and a bad day more tolerable.  But they do not make you bullet proof.  There will always be certain circumstances or people that will get your goat and catapult you back into reactions that you may have hoped you had left behind forever.
Don’t despair. You are not hopeless. You are just human.
It is an unreal expectation to imagine that your best intentions and practice will somehow stabilize you in some perma-zen state that will leave behind all your old conditioning. (Even Jesus, the Buddha and all the Sages and Saints had their bad days too.)
Forget about trying to stabilize yourself in some perfect state.  Forget about judging yourself as being a master at this or completely hopeless. Your job is to simply remember you are that which is observing the coming and going of all states, thoughts and emotions.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Mind As an Obstacle to Peace

In my life and business coaching practice, I run into a lot of people looking for more success and happiness in one form or another. Occasionally, some of these clients have concluded that their greater fulfillment is not going to be found in usual playgrounds of additional accomplishment in their; career, relationships, hobbies, fitness, fame, or their bank account.

And anyone who has ever had a deeper calling, who has genuinely longed to find what it true and lasting in life, has inevitably run into a few predictable roadblocks associated with  the limitations of the human mind.  Because changing, reasoning with, convincing, pacifying  or sustainably satisfying the mind can seem like an impossible job.

Fortunately, there are many solutions offered.  Various spiritual traditions attempt to solve this problem by offering the a seeker a particular set of long-established, widely-held beliefs, coupled with the invocation that it is a virtue to have faith and not to question.  This works for billions of people, and yet causes others to flee.
Other spiritual traditions teach elaborate practices to still the mind. This approach can keep many people busy for years. Yet, whatever stillness is momentarily achieved, quickly evaporates and sends the seeker back to do yet more practice.
If you are lucky, and ready, you may run into a teacher that can help you realize that any attempts by the mind, to manage the mind, will at best provide limited and temporary benefit.  Ultimately, the conquest of thought is the simply, direct, recognition that you are not your thoughts.  A thought may seem very close, intimate and personal, yet you begin to notice the real, unchanging you, is what is witnessing thought.
I am pretty sure I read this type of instruction a few hundred times from a variety of sources before I was ready to actually personally explore it.  And finding the appropriate guide is a matter of timing and grace. However, once it is directly verified that you are more than your mind, you will come to see that mind is really not your enemy. It is simply one of the many ways the energy of life expresses itself.  All thoughts and emotions, and all life circumstances do in fact come and go. And there is an unchanging part of you that really does witness it all without affect.  Further, this part of you needs nothing, resists nothing and thus is always quite content.
So, ironically, it is only when the mind stops seeking its own improvement or dissolution, that it is truly at peace.   And it is only when you stop identifying with or trying to control the mind, that you can simply ignore it out of relevance.
It is there. It is useful. But it is not who you are. It is just part of what you experience.  

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Proceed With Joy

When I was a child and worrying about something, my mother would often ask, “Aren’t you taking yourself too seriously.”

At the time I simply took this as a reminder that the current problem will probably pass, just like all that preceded it, and that I should not worry too much.
Years later, and after working with over 1100 clients in my coaching practice, I am beginning have a deeper appreciation of this inquiry.
In fact I have come to believe that whenever you are not at peace, not experiencing simple, everyday joy, you are probably taking yourself too seriously. By this I mean, there is probably a part of you that has judged this current set of circumstances to be unfavourable. And so the thinking mind has left the moment and is out in the imagined future somewhere working out plans to overcome all threats. Or, alternatively, the mind has left the present moment and is looking backwards to re-hash, re-play, or otherwise dwell on some event that it is judging as significant.
So here is a suggestion, if you are not at this very moment feeling peaceful and happy, simply ask yourself what do I need to let go of to be at peace?
Yes there are times in our day to day life to evaluate, choose and move into action. But it is not personal. If you have too much stress in your life, or too little joy, chances are you are taking things a little too personal. It’s just life. It happens. Trust you will be able to respond as necessary.  
In the meantime, proceed with joy.       

Sunday, April 01, 2012

At The End of Each Day

I talk a lot about choice with my coaching clients. Many are so busy that they simply live out of habit. Each day thinking, feeling, and reacting to their life in the exact same way, making few conscious choices.

This sort of living wears them out and makes them feel unengaged, burnt-out, as if they are not living the life they are meant to live.

The journey to higher awareness involves moving just far enough away from automatic living to make choices, choices that align you with what is most important. (Those parts of life you value most, that engage you, express your unique gifts, and provide meaning to your life.)

At the end of each day you can end up with more in your head, more in your hands, or more in your heart.  What are you choosing today?